


the loneliness that wet my tired footsteps has no words, just silence

by i_was_human



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, approx. 4k words of jaewon being sad, don't let that turn you off, i genuinely do not know how to tag this, i mean it's not depressing so pretty happy, implied depression, ofcs as idols, questionable sexual situations, the ceo being the absolute worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25341847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: In an industry built on expectations, Jaewon wishes people would expect a little less.
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Everyone
Comments: 6
Kudos: 117





	the loneliness that wet my tired footsteps has no words, just silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ActivelyWeird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActivelyWeird/gifts).



There is something to be said about the power of expectations, Jaewon thinks. 

Everyone _expects_ him to be fine. _Expects_ him to be Wyld. _Expects_ that he'll get involved in another scandal.

Expects, expects, expects. 

And, well- expectations are _fine_. Expectations are _great_. The entire _industry_ is built on expectations.

The only issue is when expectations don't quite equal reality.

Because by this point? Jaewon doesn't think he can meet any of the expectations set out for him.

He has to be perfect, but flawed. Has to be sweet, but sultry. Has to be cute, yet sexy. 

It's a balancing act, and he knows the consequences if he falls.

The entire group rides on him in a sick, twisted way. If he fails, then that reflects badly on _them_. _He's_ the face of the group, the one everyone sees and knows, so he has to be _perfect_.

But.

But, but, but-

he's not talented in the same way Minsoo and Dongho and Daehyun are. He's in the group as a pretty face, as someone to sit still and look pretty - or, when needed, listen to the rules like a doll. He's a puppet, strung up to do a little song and dance, and made to do everything without his own consent or desire.

(it's a miracle there's no technology to completely rob someone of free will, he thinks - else he'd lose what little autonomy he has left.)

Schedules, too, are a balancing act. Cut out breakfast, cut out dinner, chew on a tasteless low-calorie protein bar for lunch, and he can pretend he's eating enough despite knowing he's _not_.

But he has to be perfect.

He has to listen.

He has to play the role they give him without complaint, because puppets _can't_ complain, and Jaewon is such a pretty puppet. 

(but if he can't dance well enough, sing well enough, _look_ good enough, they'll throw him in the trash without a second glance.)

* * *

Every so often, Jaewon indulges himself with daydreams.

He'll dream about a day at the beach, free from cameras. Dongho's sitting under the beach umbrella, reading a novel, and Daehyun and Minsoo play in the ocean, delighted shrieks ringing through the air.

And yet, even if that day were to exist, Jaewon wouldn't be there. 

_Can't_ be there.

Because if they are doing something as a group, Jaewon's off doing something else entirely. Making a _scandal_.

(wyld - the walking scandal, the saccharine-sweet good boy, the malformed conglomeration of too many personalities and expectations to count.

where does ahn jaewon fit in this? he wonders. is there even any room for him, trapped inside these expectations?)

But in that perfect dream, Jaewon comes walking onto the beach, and Daehyun perks up, jumping out of the water to wave at him. Dongho gives him a soft smile from over the top of the book, and Minsoo shoves Daehyun underwater as he calls a greeting, only to be tackled by the youngest.

It's this perfect dream he holds on to while some starlet presses kisses to his neck, ruby-red lipstick smearing under the club lights. 

She could be pretty, he decides, sans some of the over-the-top makeup and low-cut top. Could be pretty, in the right light.

(people used to say that about him.)

In his dream, he pulls off his hoodie and folds it up on the blanket, then takes a seat at the waves' breaking point, letting the saltwater lap at his toes. Minsoo whines and asks him why he won't come in, and he laughs, running his fingers through the saltwater. 

In real life, the woman sucks a hickey on the side of his neck, running acrylic nails through his hair, and he simply stands there, wooden.

(it's a set-up, really. wouldn't do for a budding star to be a _lesbian_ , would it? not in korea. not in this world.)

From the way her hands move, she seems desperate, and for a moment, Jaewon lets himself dwell on the veracity of those claims. 

Just for a moment, though.

In his dream, Minsoo wraps his arms around his waist and hauls him into the ocean, dunking him underwater for a moment. The ocean tugs his hair this way and that, and he surfaces with a sputter in time to see Dongho approaching the ocean, a water gun slung over his shoulder.

Minsoo cries about that not being fair, and Dongho simply stares at him before nailing him in the face with a well-aimed spray of water. Daehyun laughs next to him before Dongho sprays him as well, knocking him back into an oncoming wave.

Nails drag along his scalp, and the woman pulls back, hands falling to his waist as she sways along with the music. There's something _sad_ in her eyes, and Jaewon gives her a weak, wooden smile, which she returns with a manufactured one of her own.

In his dream, Dongho smiles at him, and Jaewon returns it with a genuine one of his own before a jet of salt water nails him between the eyes. Minsoo sneaks up behind Dongho and tackles him while Daehyun steals the spray gun, and Dongho topples into the water, Minsoo clinging to his back like an overachieving koala.

That would be a nice day, Jaewon thinks, trying not to shudder as the woman drags acrylic nails down his cheek. 

That would be a nice day.

* * *

"You went out clubbing?"

Technically, yes?

Jaewon chooses to think of it as _acting_ more than anything else, though.

Minsoo sits on the couch, disappointment evident in the set of his jaw and anger flickering in his eyes. He looks like he's ready to go to bed - and Jaewon can't blame him. It's nearly three in the morning.

"I had to send Dae-yah to bed," Minsoo states, and Jaewon flinches at the thought of Daehyun staying up for _him_. "He thought you had gotten kidnapped somewhere, and that we should call someone. I told him you were probably clubbing."

"...sorry, hyung."

Minsoo sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "Just- go to bed. We'll talk tomorrow."

(expectations. minsoo expected that to be the truth. expected that jaewon went clubbing. it just... happens to be the truth, this time.

after all, there's no better way to prove you like men than sticking your tongue down the throat of the most womanizing idol in korea, is there?)

Jaewon nods, shucking off his jacket as he heads into the room he shares with Daehyun. The younger man seems to be curled around something, and it takes Jaewon a moment to realize what it is - his penguin plushie.

He didn't even knows he _kept_ that.

(he's not surprised. honestly, with how much looking at it brings back bad memories... he isn't surprised he couldn't get rid of it.)

He ruffles Daehyun's hair as he pulls on a hoodie, too exhausted to wash his face. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror - red lipstick bright on his throat, hickies painting his skin, hair messy from fingers running through it - and he turns away, unwilling to stare at Wyld for a second longer than necessary.

This is the first time the scandal is going to be real, he thinks, climbing up the ladder to his bunk. The first time he'll have actually done what the news says he does.

He doesn't know how to feel about that.

(he dances on puppet strings, acutely aware of the one tightening around his neck.)

* * *

"You did well."

The CEO stares at him, a sadistic, greasy smile on his features, and Jaewon nods, harsh and jerky.

"Thank you, sir."

"The rumors about Seoyun are already starting to dissipate," he continues, and Jaewon stares at him, unsure of where this conversation is going. "Unfortunately, you're going to need to do better than that."

Of course.

Always higher expectations. They jump, Jaewon says _how high?_ and then gets punished for not knowing in the first place.

"We have another meeting with Seoyun scheduled for tonight," he continues, and Jaewon nods, though he really just wants to throw up. "You two will meet at the club near your dorm, and you will bring her home."

Jaewon's blood turns to ice.

No.

No, no, no.

"Sir-"

" _Did I give you permission to speak?_ "

Jaewon flinches, shaking his head before ducking it. "No, sir. I'm sorry, sir."

"What are you going to do tonight, Wyld?"

"...I'm going to bring Seoyun-ssi back to the dorm, and..."

He can't say it.

He can't.

(he doesn't want this, never wanted this-)

"Correct. The rest of MAYHEM will be out tonight, so there should be no interference. You know what I expect of you, Wyld."

"...yes, sir."

* * *

When Jaewon opens the door to his dorm, he can see the flicker of sadness in Seoyun's eyes mount to full-on despair. 

(he can't blame her. he feels much the same.)

She's a few years older than him, Jaewon knows - twenty-eight to his twenty-five - and as he shuts the door behind him, they lock eyes for a moment.

They both know what they're meant to do, and yet neither one moves.

Here - out of the camera's lens - it's a completely different beast.

"My manager told me to stay the night," she finally murmurs, whisper-soft, and Jaewon tries for a smile, though it falls flat.

"My CEO told me you would."

Silence reigns supreme for a moment, and Jaewon stuffs his hands in his pockets, gaze falling to his feet. 

"...we don't have to do anything, Seoyun-ssi."

"You know we do, Wyld-ssi."

"Jaewon," he all but begs, and Seoyun's manicured eyebrow ticks up.

"An unwise decision."

Here, in the faint light of the living room, he can see how she really looks - younger without all the makeup, eyes vulnerable in an undeniably practiced way.

God, he doesn't want to touch her.

"This is just business," Seoyun murmurs, and for a moment, Jaewon lets himself dwell on just what _kind_ of business she's accustomed to before nodding. "Nothing more."

Jaewon nods, quick and jerky, and Seoyun smiles, though it's undeniably plastic.

"Just business," he echoes, and Seoyun nods.

(the cameras positioned outside catch their silhouettes, and that's enough, right?

it has to be.

jaewon never wanted this.)

* * *

When Daehyun returns the next day, the dorm is quiet.

Their shoot kept them up all night, so Minsoo and Dongho immediately head for bed, but Daehyun-

lingers.

He can hear the shower running - Jaewon, then - and the smell of scented candles wafts through the air - the ones Jaewon only burns when he's stressed.

He doesn't know what happened last night, and he doesn't think he wants to.

"Oh," someone states - someone _female_ \- and Daehyun turns, gaze landing on someone who's _unmistakably_ another idol.

Her black hair is pulled into a ponytail, and hickies stand out against her porcelain skin. Daehyun recognizes her, now - Lee Seoyun, suspected of being a lesbian. 

So why is she here?

"Sorry to bother," Seoyun murmurs, pushing past him and heading out the door. 

And Daehyun just-

 _stares_.

What?

The shower shuts off, and he waits, dumbstruck, until Jaewon appears, clad in the baggiest hoodie and longest sweatpants he owns. Still, even that much fabric can't conceal the numerous marks on his neck, and he heads for their room, unable to meet Daehyun's eyes.

What?

After a moment, Jaewon returns, face mask and cap on, and he heads out the door, expression empty.

There's something _missing_ , there. Something _gone_.

(daehyun doesn't know what it is.)

"Daehyun-ah?" Dongho asks, emerging from his room clad in what passes for pajamas in this dorm. "What're you doing?"

"Jaewon-hyung and Seoyun-ssi just left," he rasps, and Dongho stares at him, eyes wide.

"What?"

* * *

Jaewon has to get out.

Has to go.

He never- never wanted this. _Never_.

He thought he would be an idol. He thought he would get to sing and rap and dance and make friends.

Not- not sleep with women under false pretenses. 

(his reflection has become his plushie - something he can neither look at nor get rid of. for his plushie, it's what it's associated with - a once-gift tainted with the single worst (second worst, now) moment of his life. a gift, so he can't get rid of it, but something too horrible to be able to keep.

isn't it funny that the first gift he ever got is also the one he hates most?)

He doesn't know where he's going until he's there, his feet taking him to the coffee shop on autopilot. And, well-

is it fair to dump this on Jun?

He doesn't want to dump all of his problems on the reticent barista, _especially_ not ones of this magnitude, but really-

is there anywhere else he can go?

Anyone else he can talk to?

(no. that jaded, dull look in seoyun's eyes - will that be him, someday?

will that be him, soon?)

"Jaewon?"

His head jerks to the side, and he locks eyes with Jun - the barista seeming oddly uncomfortable. "Why're you just standing out here?"

And at that-

Jaewon bursts into tears.

Jun pats his back as he ushers him into the store, flipping the sign to closed and sitting him down at a table. "What happened, Jaewon-ah?"

He can't respond.

Can't find the words.

"...I didn't want it."

The admission slips out, unbidden, and something flips in Jun's expression, then.

"I had to want it," Jaewon continues, words tripping over each other as he speaks, "but I _didn't_. I- I didn't. I just- I had to, but I _didn't_ , and-"

Jun looks-

uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry," Jaewon whispers, jolting out of the chair. "I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry. I'll go."

"Jaewon, wait-!"

But Jaewon's already out the door.

* * *

The puppet dances, onwards and onwards, the string tightening ever-further around its neck.

For Jaewon, this string is the folder of photos the CEO slides across the table.

He doesn't need to open it to know what's inside. They both already know.

"Good work," the CEO states, and Jaewon nods, numb fingers moving to open the folder. "I already leaked the photos to the media."

Jaewon nods, slow and jerky, and the CEO grins, slimy, predatory, _disgusting_. "Nice work, Wyld."

He digs his nails into his arms, trying to scrape off the memory of unwanted touch.

(but then again, did he even have a choice?) 

"Go to dance practice," the CEO commands, and Jaewon all but sprints out of the room, tears stinging his eyes as the night prior replays itself.

( _seoyun's feather-light touches, whispered admissions in the dark-_

_"i don't like boys."_

_her hair splayed over the pillow, sadness reflecting in those dark eyes-_

_"i'm sorry, jaewon."_

_"i'm sorry, too."_ _)_

He ducks into the bathroom in time to throw up.

They had to, he knows - they _had to_.

(why? neither of them wanted it.)

"Hyung?"

_No. Not Daehyun._

"Hyung, are you in here?"

_No._

"Oh, hyung..."

A hand pushes his sweaty hair from his eyes, and he sobs, curling up in his dongsaeng's arms. 

(he feels so small, like this. so small, so weak, so- so-)

"It'll be okay," Daehyun murmurs, running his fingers through Jaewon's hair (not acrylic nails, not fake, not anything other than _friend_ ). "You're okay."

And Jaewon just cries all the harder at that, because _no, no he really isn't_ , but Daehyun's here, Daehyun's got him for the moment, and that has to be enough.

"Don't- please don't go."

"...of course not, Jaewon-hyung."

* * *

He's so sick of it.

So sick of seeing them _everywhere_.

Seoyun on the billboards, Sohee in every shadow and wandering eye-

he wants them out.

Minsoo's standing by the van, now, fingers tapping an irritated rhythm on his hip, and Jaewon's trying not to look at everyone, trying not to look at all the eyes, at everyone _expecting_ , everyone _wanting_ him to be something he _never_ wanted to be, but he has to jump higher, even if it destroys him-

the idea of love leaves a caustic taste in his mouth, now.

"It took you long enough," Minsoo snips, and Dongho glares at him from the passenger's seat, but Jaewon just climbs to the back and slides in his earbuds, losing himself in the thudding bass of one song or another.

_(a sadistic grin, his hands bound behind his back-)_

oh, if Sohee could see him now. 

Would it make her happy, he wonders, to know that the person she thought he was is the person he's become?

(anything would. he knows that.)

Would it be easier if she had stabbed him then?

Maybe.

(jaewon wonders, sometimes - is this worth it?

a futile question.

the answer has always been no.)

When they get home, Jaewon is the first one in the shower. 

(his dreams are filled with hooded eyes and too much makeup and the glint of silver, so he doesn't sleep.)

* * *

"I'm worried about Jaewon-hyung."

Minsoo quirks a brow, taking another bite of his cereal. "What? Why?"

"I just-"

Daehyun rakes a hand through his hair, gnawing on his lower lip. "He was out before I got up, and he's so skinny, and his _eyes_ , hyung-"

"He's probably just sleeping around," Minsoo dismisses, waving a hand in a bid to make Daehyun drop the topic. "And everyone's skinny with these diets, y'know?"

"He _cried_ , hyung. He begged me not to leave."

"Hmm... that is weird."

Minsoo frowns into his cereal before taking another bite, gaze pinned on the bowl. "I'll talk to him."

"...you promise?"

"Yeah," Minsoo assures him, swirling the cereal with his spoon. "I'll talk to him."

(minsoo doesn't talk to him.

he has the opening - jaewon lingers after dance practice, apparently trying to fill any spare time with whatever he can, and minsoo-

doesn't take it.

is he scared?

maybe.

god, what a coward.)

* * *

In the end, it's Dongho that sees the breaking point.

He's going to the CEO to talk about their diets - specifically Jaewon's - when he hears noises coming from inside.

Now, Dongho doesn't normally condone eavesdropping, but when he recognizes one of the voices as Jaewon's, well-

Jaewon won't tell them _himself_ (he knows that much) so, really-

does Dongho have another option?

"I've entered into a deal with BLINK's CEO," their CEO states. "You're going to meet Maria at the same club tonight, and you'll bring her back to the dorm."

Silence.

"Have I made myself clear, Wyld?"

Silence.

" _Look at me when I'm talking to you!_ "

A smack rings through the air, and fabric rustles inside. "Have I made myself clear?"

"...yes, sir."

"Hm. Maybe I should add another few thousand onto your debt. That would teach you to obey me, huh?"

"I'm sorry, sir."

Another rustling, and Dongho peeks through a crack in the door, only for his eyes to widen at the sight that greets him.

Jaewon stands there, a bright red mark forming on his cheek, and the CEO-

is _smiling_.

And not- not an innocent smile by _any_ stretch of the word. This smile is just disgusting, greasy and selfish and _horrible_.

"Grovel."

Jaewon drops to his knees, head bowed, and the CEO grins, grasping the back of his head and slamming his face against the floor. 

"I said to _grovel_."

"...I'm sorry, sir."

The CEO grinds the heel of his boot against the back of Jaewon's head, and he just-

takes it.

"Beg. Beg me to not increase your debt."

"...please sir."

"Please _what_?"

"Please don't increase MAYHEM's debt."

Dongho wants to punch something.

"You know what you're doing tonight, Wyld."

"...yes, sir."

"And make sure the press see you. The less I have to pay, the better."

"Yes, sir."

"Now- get out of my sight."

* * *

Jaewon sips idly on his drink, gaze flitting around the club.

Maria - Kim Jiyoo - should be arriving soon. At least, that's what he's been told.

(they say alcohol is a depressant. jaewon thinks it's an improvement.)

"Yo."

Jaewon chokes on his drink.

Dongho leans against the bar next to him, expression blank. "What're you doing here?"

"Um-"

"Waiting for someone?"

_Heknows._

"Nah," Jaewon laughs - or tries to, at least. "Just seeing if anyone catches my interest, y'know?"

"Mm. Wanna come home?"

"Um, nah-"

"Wyld?"

Maria stands in front of him, lips and hair the exact same shade of blood-red. Dark eyes peer at him, rimmed by modest makeup, and her porcelain skin shines under the club lights.

(if jaewon didn't know what they expected of them, she'd be stunning.)

"Sorry, he's not interested," Dongho evenly replies, grasping Jaewon's wrist and hauling him towards the door.

"Hyung-!"

Dongho's stronger than he is - by a lot, actually. Jaewon twists in his grasp, trying to escape any way he can, but Dongho doesn't loosen his grip until they're out of the club and at least a block away.

"What was that?" Jaewon snaps, and Dongho folds his arms over his chest, expression dark.

"Answer me this, Jaewon. Why?"

"...what?"

"Why?" Dongho repeats, and Jaewon stares at him, eyes wide. 

"I don't... get what you mean?"

"Why were you in the club tonight?"

"Because I like it?"

"You didn't look like you liked it."

"Just- leave me alone."

"Jaewon."

There's something _pleading_ in Dongho's eyes, Jaewon realizes.

"Please... please talk to me."

"..."

"Please."

"...it doesn't matter."

" _Jaewon_."

" _Stop,_ hyung."

Jaewon's gaze flits to the side, and he bites his lower lip, darkness dancing in his eyes. "It doesn't matter."

"Jaewon-"

" _It doesn't matter!_ "

Silence reigns supreme for a moment.

"...I'm just doing my job, hyung," Jaewon murmurs, and Dongho's eyes widen at that. "Please, don't try and stop me."

(that's not to say jaewon doesn't want this stopped.

god, does he want this stopped.

but-

mayhem comes first. 

over him.)

"If I can't stop you, then let me fix this."

Jaewon freezes, slowly, slowly turning to face Dongho. "What?"

"I can fix this."

Dongho stares at him, pity shining in his eyes, and Jaewon _doesn't want pity_.

"...it's okay, hyung."

It's really not.

"Let me fix this," Dongho repeats, and Jaewon shakes his head, a broken smile on his lips. 

"I don't think you can."

(in his imagination, he's at the sea-side, and dongho's shooting him with a squirt gun-)

"I need to go."

With that, he sprints back towards the club, ignoring the way Dongho calls after him.

He can't fix this.

He can't.

(it's too late for him.)

* * *

When Jaewon wakes up, it's to his phone exploding.

He scrambles for it, nearly falling out of bed. After all, Maria went home last night, so he's going to get in trouble, right?

No.

Instead, hundreds of articles are popping up, each one with the same phrase.

_**"High Class Entertainment's CEO Arrested For Sajaegi!"** _

He can't breathe.

He taps on the top one and scrolls through it, taking in each and every line. 

And then-

_"Reportedly, it was MAYHEM's D.Min that blew the whistle on this unsound business practice-"_

Oh. 

Dongho.

_Oh._

_("i can fix this.")_

Jaewon stares at his phone-

and cries.

He expected a lot of things, but never this.

He never could've expected this.

* * *

Minsoo calls a group meeting.

Jaewon sits on the couch, eyes dull even as he mulls over what this means.

An arrest.

That means he's been fired, and Jaewon-

doesn't have to do anything.

"So," Minsoo states, "obviously, promotions are going on hold. We're probably going to start back up in a few days, but other than that, we have some free time. Does anyone want to do anything?"

Jaewon digs his nails into his arms, holding his tongue.

"I wanna eat," Daehyun groans, draping himself over Dongho and Jaewon's laps. "I wanna eat _all_ the food."

"I mean real plans," Minsoo mutters, and Daehyun squawks.

"Like you have real plans," Dongho snipes.

" _I have real plans!_ "

"Um-"

Jaewon's not sure why he says it, but three heads swivel to face him nonetheless. 

"I was, um..."

He trails off, plucking at the fabric of his pajama pants with chipped nails. "I kinda wanted to, um, go to the beach..."

He should've kept his mouth shut.

"That sounds fun."

His head jerks upright, wide-eyed gaze landing on a pensive Minsoo. "Yeah, I think we can do that. What do you guys think?"

"Ah, it was really just a suggestion-"

"Sounds good," Dongho shrugs, and Daehyun grins. 

"I'm in!"

"Oh..."

"Cool," Minsoo grins, clapping his hands. "Tomorrow, then?"

"Fine with me."

"Sure!"

"Jaewon-ah?"

"Um," Jaewon stammers, wadding up whatever spare fabric he can find in his hands, "sure?"

"Cool," Minsoo grins, flashing the group a thumbs-up. "Be ready at five!"

* * *

It's not like his dream.

It's cold - the middle of winter tends to be such. The rest of the beach is deserted, due to it being December, and Minsoo whines about how cold it is before Dongho whacks him.

Still.

Jaewon shucks off his jacket, gaze pinned on the distant horizon, and he walks forwards, taking a seat at the waves' breaking point.

It's beautiful, somehow.

_"You're wasting time!"_

He shakes his head, trying to ignore the oppressive voice, but it _doesn't want to go away-_

_"Grovel."_

_"Beg."_

"Hyung!"

Daehyun surfaces a ways out, blond hair plastered to his head and a bright smile on his lips. "C'mon!"

Minsoo pops up next to him, teeth chattering as he hugs his arms, and he shoots a betrayed glare at Daehyun. "How are you not freezing?"

"Magic," Daehyun grins, and Minsoo groans. "C'mon, hyung!"

Jaewon takes one step and nearly walks back out. The water is _freezing,_ honestly.

But he takes another.

Then another, and another- 

He leaps into the ocean, letting the frigid water drag him under for a moment before he surfaces, gaze pinned on the stormy gray sky. The water tugs his hair this way and that, and he reaches up in an attempt to grasp the distant clouds, a gentle smile on his lips.

And it's not his dream, not his perfect day, not his _anything_ , but-

it's nice. 

He's happy.

(and for him, that's enough.)

**Author's Note:**

> ...and then jun cornered jaewon when he got back and made him see a therapist
> 
> i hope this wasn't too dark, and that it was at least somewhat enjoyable(?) i wanted to do a bit darker of a take on canon, and this happened
> 
> also adding ofcs bc jjolee has given us exactly two [2] other idol groups and i just wanted to chuck other humans in there
> 
> pls point out any typos!! <3 stay safe!!!!
> 
> lyrics from nct 127's not alone
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


End file.
